I thought I would get back to covering more topics about Adult ADD. I found something really interesting on www.addmanagement.com. The site has free workshops and assignments that will allow you to understand you ADD more. Please check out the site and listen to their streaming audio section.
It said that there are two types of people with ADD. First, is the really successful type who, despite their ADD, has forged ahead and done some amazing things...some have even gone onto the counseling field to help those with ADD. Drs. Edward M. Hallowell and John J. Ratey who co-wrote the book "Driven to Distraction" come to mind. This is a wonderful book I have read (and am currently re-reading) that decribes ADD from a different perspective (both Drs have ADD and are able to effectively treat patients with it from a way most doctors who don't have it are unable to.) Dr. Hallowell has his own website: www.drhallowell.com. This is the Hallowell Center, a site that has information as well as events for those with ADD and the people who live with them.
Ok....I kind of went on a tangent there. My apologies. The other type of person with ADD can't seem to get ahead and struggles their whole life...this was me. I seemed to always be struggling in my work environment. At first, when I was doing manual labor (like janitorial work, or working as a CSR) I seemed to be ok. I never seemed to be considered for "upper level jobs" and never understood why. I would leave the job for something I thought was "better." At the new job, I would get motivated and then the vicious circle would start again. When I was finally diagnosed with Adult ADD, I had to learn to stop this cycle. This has been and continues to be difficult for me. How do I manage the ADD so that I can live life at its fullest?
This is where the essential steps come in. Try applying these five steps to your life. Give yourself some time to work on them....they will be difficult at first, so cut yourself some slack if you struggle (ADD'rs tend to be hardest on themselves.)
1) Break the cycle of feeling of "overwhelmed." This is what leads to feeling burnt out. Life is hard, but continuing to feel like you have to accomplish EVERYTHING is unrealistic. As my mom once said to my dad when he had overcommitted himself, "Hon, remember that you head also goes to the left and right." What she meant was that you can always say NO. Sometimes those of us with ADD think we can help with so many things as we are the creative type with LOTS of energy. Remember though, you are telling someone you will do it for them. If you begin to feel overwhelmed, it is ok to ask for help or tell them that you have too much on your plate. I tell people that I will help, but preface it by saying that if I DO get too busy, I will let them know. They appreciate my honesty. I also found out that they are willing to find someone to help me or lend their hand in the project. This way everyone is happy.
2) Work with you ADD instead of against it. We are the creative types with lots of ideas. We do things differently and we need to do it that way because of the ADD. I write a lot of lists. I carry a small notebook with me and if someone tells me something that is important...I write it down. I can transfer them to my datebook (GET ONE THEY HELP SO MUCH!!!) or get an electronic notebook or PDA. They have a place where you can put in a date or event and set an alarm. When it goes off you look at the PDA and it tells you what you need to do! Someone with ADD must've invented the PDA!
If you find that you need to move around when someone is talking to you, explain that it helps you pay attention. I find that if I am in a meeting and I dont have paper to write notes on, I stand up. This helps me focus. Sitting still tends to make me drift. Also, stay away from being across from a window or open door. This will only cause you to daydream. If you have someone you trust, ask them to be next to you when you are in a meeting. They might be able to take notes for you (in case you do drift or daydream.) Talk with them after the meeting to see if you got all the information.
Finally, don't be afraid to ask a question if you think you missed something. Be honest..."Mr. Jones, can you go over that last part about...so that I fully understand it." The boss will be appreciative that you care. Plus...there are probably others who will miss it as well (you might not be the only ADD'r in that room!!!)
3) Adjust your attitude. ADD'rs tend to have low self esteems that, over time, leads them to be negative about themselves. Stop looking at what you do wrong and start looking at what you do RIGHT! Apply the skills that you excel in.
(Example: most people with ADD aren't real detail oriented. I know I hate anything to do with numbers. I also know that if I do the best at it and find someone, either at work or at home, to check it for me...then I am fine. I also look for formulas on how to do things. If I learn that formula {and can practice it until I get it right} I am fine as well.) I once worked for a finanace company and did quite well because my boss allowed me to learn the formulas and become proficient at it. If you can delegate work that you aren't good or possibly find someone who you can trade tasks with...this work too! Remember, you may never be the best at something, but as long as you do it as best you can it will be ok.
4) Become organized enough to reach your goals. The prime thing to remember is to focus on areas that NEED to be done to help you achieve your goals. Being on time for an interview for a job is EXTREMELY important. If you meet that goal their is a good chance you will get the job (as long as you are qualified for that job.) Being organized is something that I was blessing with having, but it is not the usual characteristic of someone with Adult ADD. A super-clean desk may be something you'll never achieve, but if that desk is organized so that YOU know where everything is...you achieved that goal.
I had a manager at the finance company that I worked for whose desk, to me, was a complete mess. I once asked her for a file that I have given her and she had it to me in under a minute. I was amazed! Her desk was oranized so that SHE knew where everything was...and she was and still is a successful person!
5) Live out Loud. This doesn't mean to talk all the time (although if ADDr's aren't in check, we have a tendency to do this!) What this means is...be a risk taker. This can be a positive quality for those with Adult ADD. If you want something...go for it, but know when the door of opportunity is closed. I wanted to get back into radio, so I applied for a board operations job at a local station...and GOT IT! Then I sent all the off time working on voiceovers and commercials (thinking that if I did the diligently, that I would get a full time job.) Nothing happened. Then I found out about a promotions assistant job at the station. I applied and was again diligent about talking the hiring manager (maybe a bit too much) about the job. They ended up hiring someone else. I finally came to the realization that this station only wanted me as a board operator. I finally accepted and realized that the job gave me some extra spending cash I didn't have before I got it. Will I ever find a job either on air or as a promotions person in radio? Only God knows. If I don't then that is how it will be.
Understand that success and challenges will come. No matter how they turn out, accept them and look at what you learned from it. If it is a mistake you made, look at what you did and how you can avoid not doing that again. I once walked away from a good job because I thought I had a better opportunity. It wasn't and I had to find other work. I learned to make sure that I fully investigated a job before leaving one that was good. Stop focusing on character flaws or what you can't do in life (we all fall short somewhere in life...look at the positive skills sets you have. If you feel you need to improve them, take a college class or trade skill class or whatever you need to do to improve on those positive skills.)
I have a friend who is a talented writer. He writes these beautiful stories that capture your attention and keep you reading. He is, however, what I call a "gonna doer." He says things like, "I don't like working at XXXX I think I'm gonna take a writing class." Then he NEVER follows through. He makes excuses as to why he can't go to school (I can't afford it etc.) I told him that if he waits until he can afford it, he will never do it. So he continues to waste his talents and never writes stories that a) he would probably make a decient living at and b) give people some wonderful hours of enjoyment reading his wonderfully crafted stories.
Look deep inside yourself and take those dreams and turn them into realities. I wish you are happiness and success.
Blessings,
D
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