Five Essential Skills for Managing Adult ADD

I thought I would get back to covering more topics about Adult ADD. I found something really interesting on www.addmanagement.com. The site has free workshops and assignments that will allow you to understand you ADD more. Please check out the site and listen to their streaming audio section.

It said that there are two types of people with ADD. First, is the really successful type who, despite their ADD, has forged ahead and done some amazing things...some have even gone onto the counseling field to help those with ADD. Drs. Edward M. Hallowell and John J. Ratey who co-wrote the book "Driven to Distraction" come to mind. This is a wonderful book I have read (and am currently re-reading) that decribes ADD from a different perspective (both Drs have ADD and are able to effectively treat patients with it from a way most doctors who don't have it are unable to.) Dr. Hallowell has his own website: www.drhallowell.com. This is the Hallowell Center, a site that has information as well as events for those with ADD and the people who live with them.

Ok....I kind of went on a tangent there. My apologies. The other type of person with ADD can't seem to get ahead and struggles their whole life...this was me. I seemed to always be struggling in my work environment. At first, when I was doing manual labor (like janitorial work, or working as a CSR) I seemed to be ok. I never seemed to be considered for "upper level jobs" and never understood why. I would leave the job for something I thought was "better." At the new job, I would get motivated and then the vicious circle would start again. When I was finally diagnosed with Adult ADD, I had to learn to stop this cycle. This has been and continues to be difficult for me. How do I manage the ADD so that I can live life at its fullest?

This is where the essential steps come in. Try applying these five steps to your life. Give yourself some time to work on them....they will be difficult at first, so cut yourself some slack if you struggle (ADD'rs tend to be hardest on themselves.)

1) Break the cycle of feeling of "overwhelmed." This is what leads to feeling burnt out. Life is hard, but continuing to feel like you have to accomplish EVERYTHING is unrealistic. As my mom once said to my dad when he had overcommitted himself, "Hon, remember that you head also goes to the left and right." What she meant was that you can always say NO. Sometimes those of us with ADD think we can help with so many things as we are the creative type with LOTS of energy. Remember though, you are telling someone you will do it for them. If you begin to feel overwhelmed, it is ok to ask for help or tell them that you have too much on your plate. I tell people that I will help, but preface it by saying that if I DO get too busy, I will let them know. They appreciate my honesty. I also found out that they are willing to find someone to help me or lend their hand in the project. This way everyone is happy.

2) Work with you ADD instead of against it. We are the creative types with lots of ideas. We do things differently and we need to do it that way because of the ADD. I write a lot of lists. I carry a small notebook with me and if someone tells me something that is important...I write it down. I can transfer them to my datebook (GET ONE THEY HELP SO MUCH!!!) or get an electronic notebook or PDA. They have a place where you can put in a date or event and set an alarm. When it goes off you look at the PDA and it tells you what you need to do! Someone with ADD must've invented the PDA!

If you find that you need to move around when someone is talking to you, explain that it helps you pay attention. I find that if I am in a meeting and I dont have paper to write notes on, I stand up. This helps me focus. Sitting still tends to make me drift. Also, stay away from being across from a window or open door. This will only cause you to daydream. If you have someone you trust, ask them to be next to you when you are in a meeting. They might be able to take notes for you (in case you do drift or daydream.) Talk with them after the meeting to see if you got all the information.

Finally, don't be afraid to ask a question if you think you missed something. Be honest..."Mr. Jones, can you go over that last part about...so that I fully understand it." The boss will be appreciative that you care. Plus...there are probably others who will miss it as well (you might not be the only ADD'r in that room!!!)

3) Adjust your attitude. ADD'rs tend to have low self esteems that, over time, leads them to be negative about themselves. Stop looking at what you do wrong and start looking at what you do RIGHT! Apply the skills that you excel in.

(Example: most people with ADD aren't real detail oriented. I know I hate anything to do with numbers. I also know that if I do the best at it and find someone, either at work or at home, to check it for me...then I am fine. I also look for formulas on how to do things. If I learn that formula {and can practice it until I get it right} I am fine as well.) I once worked for a finanace company and did quite well because my boss allowed me to learn the formulas and become proficient at it. If you can delegate work that you aren't good or possibly find someone who you can trade tasks with...this work too! Remember, you may never be the best at something, but as long as you do it as best you can it will be ok.

4) Become organized enough to reach your goals. The prime thing to remember is to focus on areas that NEED to be done to help you achieve your goals. Being on time for an interview for a job is EXTREMELY important. If you meet that goal their is a good chance you will get the job (as long as you are qualified for that job.) Being organized is something that I was blessing with having, but it is not the usual characteristic of someone with Adult ADD. A super-clean desk may be something you'll never achieve, but if that desk is organized so that YOU know where everything is...you achieved that goal.

I had a manager at the finance company that I worked for whose desk, to me, was a complete mess. I once asked her for a file that I have given her and she had it to me in under a minute. I was amazed! Her desk was oranized so that SHE knew where everything was...and she was and still is a successful person!

5) Live out Loud. This doesn't mean to talk all the time (although if ADDr's aren't in check, we have a tendency to do this!) What this means is...be a risk taker. This can be a positive quality for those with Adult ADD. If you want something...go for it, but know when the door of opportunity is closed. I wanted to get back into radio, so I applied for a board operations job at a local station...and GOT IT! Then I sent all the off time working on voiceovers and commercials (thinking that if I did the diligently, that I would get a full time job.) Nothing happened. Then I found out about a promotions assistant job at the station. I applied and was again diligent about talking the hiring manager (maybe a bit too much) about the job. They ended up hiring someone else. I finally came to the realization that this station only wanted me as a board operator. I finally accepted and realized that the job gave me some extra spending cash I didn't have before I got it. Will I ever find a job either on air or as a promotions person in radio? Only God knows. If I don't then that is how it will be.

Understand that success and challenges will come. No matter how they turn out, accept them and look at what you learned from it. If it is a mistake you made, look at what you did and how you can avoid not doing that again. I once walked away from a good job because I thought I had a better opportunity. It wasn't and I had to find other work. I learned to make sure that I fully investigated a job before leaving one that was good. Stop focusing on character flaws or what you can't do in life (we all fall short somewhere in life...look at the positive skills sets you have. If you feel you need to improve them, take a college class or trade skill class or whatever you need to do to improve on those positive skills.)

I have a friend who is a talented writer. He writes these beautiful stories that capture your attention and keep you reading. He is, however, what I call a "gonna doer." He says things like, "I don't like working at XXXX I think I'm gonna take a writing class." Then he NEVER follows through. He makes excuses as to why he can't go to school (I can't afford it etc.) I told him that if he waits until he can afford it, he will never do it. So he continues to waste his talents and never writes stories that a) he would probably make a decient living at and b) give people some wonderful hours of enjoyment reading his wonderfully crafted stories.

Look deep inside yourself and take those dreams and turn them into realities. I wish you are happiness and success.

Blessings,

D

Brad Delp- A childhood hero dead at 55

If you are 35 years or older (or if you are just a classic rock fan) you may have heard the news about Brad Delp, lead singer from the 70's rock band Boston. He was found dead at his home in Londonderry, New Hampshire on Friday (3/9/07.) He was 55 years old.

The 70's were a time of transition. In the span of of three years; President Nixon left the presidency to avoid being impeached, Gerald Ford made history by becoming the first president NOT to be voted in office by the people, and finally, a peanut farmer named Jimmy Carter became "The Commander and Chief." The 70's, needless to say, were weird!

One of the things that was consistent in my life at that time, was music. I listened to Dale Dorman on WRKO-AM on my little transistor radio at night. In 1975, I discovered FM radio. No static, great music and not as many commercials! I fell in love with bands like: The Eagles, Foreigner, BTO and others. In short, I became a rock fan.

In 1976, I was introduced to Boston. I thought, "What a great name for a band!". Living about 15 minutes from Beantown, a band celebrating my beloved city, MUST be cool. I figured there was a band named "Chicago" why not one named "Boston?" About this time, I had joined a "record club." My first album was, of course, Boston. My favorite station, F105 was playing "More than a feeling" on a high rotation (this is radio talk for saying they were playing the heck out of it.)

So, I waited daily for my Boston album to come in the mail. I remember when I got home one day to see my Columbia House package. I was with my friend Carl and we couldn't wait to hear more songs on this album. We weren't disappointed! Songs like: "Peace of Mind" "Long Time" and "Rock and Roll Band" became songs we loved to listen to (not too bad considering we were only 12 at the time.)

Boston's first album sold over 17 million copies. The voice of Brad Delp was one that was instantly noticable once you heard it. Boston seemed to tour forever (although I never got the opportunity to see them live.) And then....nothing. It seemed that the band was gone. No second album. The end of the 70's came to an end and disco ruled the airwaves....I liked it only due to the fact that lots of pretty girls seemed to like it (when you are in your teens and can get close to a girl by dancing with her...you go with it.) I know...WHAT was I thinking???

It wasn't until the mid 80's before we heard back from Boston. Brad was back and "Amanda" hit high rotation. Brad's high notes were a welcome relief! But, it didn't last long. One album and it was over. I had heard (being in radio I heard the conversations about how they were done, that Brad now lived in New Hampshire and was recording in his home studio.)

A DJ friend of mine, who met him, told me that he had formed a band named "Beatlejuice" that sang all Beatles covers. I remember hearing that they came to the seacoast of New Hampshire where I lived. Again, I never got a chance to see them. Brad and Boston will always be a favorite band of mine. From reading about his life and from talking to my friend, I have learned that Brad was a generous man who did a lot for those less fortunate than himself.

Athough he wasn't a " 70's mega-superstar" like: Jagger, Bowie, Frampton or Tyler, Brad will always remain a superstar in my life.

RIP Brad.

Where does the time go....I'll catch ya' up

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it"~ Ferris Bueller

If you are a fan of the sleeper movie "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" you will remember how Matthew Broderick managed to talk his friend Cameron into "taking a day off." I sometimes feel like that myself...meaning that life is moving so fast that if I don't stop and look...it will pass me by. I spent the last few months looking for work. Although it sounds like it would be easy, believe me, it's not. It actually becomes a full time job. The difference is you don't get paid to LOOK for a job. You do get unemployment, but it's not something you can live on. Actually, I hate getting a check from the state. I look at it this way...if I have the faculties to work...I should be working.

After sending out about 60 resumes, I was getting really discouraged. Having ADD, getting down on yourself is not really NOT something that is good for you. Most ADD'rs have spent their whole lives feeling like they screw up everything (or that they can't keep a good job.) I know in my own life that I have messed up a lot of good opportunities by thinking I could do better somewhere else (this has something to do with ADD, but I will reserve this for another blog.)

I also was approached by my brother to work with him as well. I have been doing business development for his business, but will wait until the work he does gets going (this is a seasonal job, but we will be working on getting it to be "year round business.") This is actually exciting, but will take a lot of work. So, now...this coming spring, summer and fall I will be working an average of 60-80 hours a week. I thank God for allowing me to be able to do this.

I also ask for prayers for good health and lots of rest (while I am not working) so that I can do both jobs. I think I can do it. My brother is really depending on me and I don't want to let him down.

Not forgetting what this site is for, I will be bringing more information to this site about ADD diets, surveys and other items...so stay tuned.